Defiant Page 5
“I think this is as bottom as we get.”
“That’s good news.”
“Sophie?”
She smiled. “I don’t think this is so bad. It’s a little bit of a shock to be thrown a hundred years into the past but people did it before and without electricity or motor vehicles. I’m okay with this.”
“Are you sure?”
Sophie squeezed his hand. “I’m so sure.”
Wolf pulled her closer to him and she rested her head on his shoulder.
“I’ll find a ride for her back to the city.”
ERICA ZIPPED HER DUFFLE bag shut. She was told she could take two carry bags with her so she took the best of her clothes in one and what portable art would fit into the other.
“You’ll be happier in the city,” Sophie said as she watched this process.
“I feel like I’m starting all over.”
“Everyone is starting all over. Everyone has suffered losses.”
Erica pulled out a kitchen chair and sat.
“Not everyone,” Sophie corrected herself as she was reminded of the elites who were skating through this downfall.
“I have less than when I graduated from college.”
“You have professional experience in the art world. You’ll be fine. You’ll find something.”
“You’re not sorry to see me leave.”
“No, I’m happy for you. Don’t blab about the town.”
“I don’t know anything. All I know is that there is next to nothing here.”
“Good. That’s exactly right.”
“So, if I may be so curious, how are you going to make it through the winter?”
“You know what, Mom? No one knows that they’ll make it through the winter. No one knows that they’ll make it to tomorrow. If I have to burn the barn one piece of wood at a time to keep warm, I will.”
“I hope it doesn’t come to that because I paid good money for this place.”
“And we’re lucky you did. Unfortunately, you hate it here.”
“I didn’t think it was going to be permanent. I thought it would be a rustic weekend retreat where my friends would come up for visits with bottles of wine and wedges of ripe cheese.”
“That would have been very nice, I’m sure. That’s not how it worked out and you are not very flexible. You can’t seem to adapt to change.”
“This isn’t change.”
“No, it’s more like to total destruction and the creation of a Frankenstein monster of a country.”
“Let’s not start again.”
“I am starting again because that’s the only choice there is.”
Erica fiddled with the buttons on her coat. It had been a good coat. Now it was worn and the moths had gotten into it a couple years ago. She didn’t expect to ever have a new coat to replace it. She wasn’t expecting the situation to miraculously improve any longer as she did in the beginning. She wasn’t quite that deep in denial about what had happened. “Where did you get that kind of determination?”
“You don’t know me very well, Mom.”
Sophie saw Wolf’s truck pull into the driveway.
“Do you think you can be polite to him on the way to your drop-off point?”
“Yes.”
“He’s doing you a favor.”
“I understand. Why? No one likes me here.”
Sophie stood and walked across the room. “He’s a good Christian.”
Erica shook her head.
“I know it doesn’t mean anything to you but it’s who he is. It gives him a template to live by. It teaches him to be generous and charitable to everyone he meets. Including you.”
There was a knock at the door and Sophie opened it. “Hi,” she said and felt something in her go out to him just like every time she saw him.
“Hi.” Wolf stepped into the kitchen and nodded to Erica. “Are you ready?”
She rose and pulled on her coat. “Yes.”
“Good. You have a long trip ahead of you. You’ll be changing rides a couple of times but you should make it to the city sometime tonight.”
Sophie opened the door for them. “Have a good trip, Mom, and I hope you find what you’re looking for there.”
Erica shrugged and made a step toward her daughter but stopped. “You, too,” she said and, carrying her bags, left the house.
Wolf shook his head at the exchange. In the same position, if he wasn’t certain he would ever see his mother again, the goodbye would have meant more than hopes for a speedy trip. “Are you going to be okay?”
“Sure. Don’t think twice about me.”
“Do you have your gun?”
“Yes.”
“You’re confident you can use it?”
“Annie’s a good teacher.”
“I’ll get back as soon as I can but...”
“Yeah, I know. You don’t have to say anything. I’ll see you when you get here.”
Wolf leaned over and kissed her cheek. “I’ll miss you.”
“I’ll miss you.”
She waved a final goodbye to her mother and closed the door.
The house seemed empty.
THE NEXT DAY, MID-MORNING, Wolf’s truck came up the driveway.
“Hi.”
“Hi. I didn’t think I’d be gone that long, I had something else to do.”
“Yeah, it’s fine. Did she make the connection okay?”
“I’m sure she’s in the city by now. Did some of her friends really want to take her in?”
“It’s like the old days. Sleeping on the floor, waking up early to stumble around trying to shake off whatever happened the night before. Have a cup of coffee. Make it out onto the street where you protest injustice until lunchtime. Grab a quick bite at a café, have some more coffee. Go to an art gallery. Have dinner at a sidewalk restaurant. Come back to the pad, get stoned and get laid.”
“Sophie,” Wolf protested.
“I’m sorry. No, I really am. I shouldn’t have said it like that.”
“No. She gave you life, you owe her some respect.”
“You’re too kind to her.”
“She kept you in a good school. It must have cost a lot of money.”
“Yes, but was she doing it for me or for her? I felt...she got rid of me and there was community approval. All her friends could see she was doing what they considered to be the right thing. Send the learning disabled child to a special school where it’ll be taken care of for you without the mess of dealing with it so you can concentrate on important issues like preventing people from drinking a large soda with their hot dog.”
“I looked at that metal crap in the yard, she’s a good welder.”
Sophie laughed. “I’m just so offended by the way she lived her life. How vapid, how meaningless. She could have been making food to serve hungry people in homeless shelters; instead she was preoccupied by getting a law passed to dictate how much salt could be served in swanky restaurants.”
“It’s over.”
Sophie grinned. “I’m a free woman.”
“That’s what you think,” Wolf countered and kissed her.
She wrapped her arms tightly around him.
“I wish I could spend the day with you but I have to meet up with Reilly. Do you want me to try to get back tonight or will you be okay here on your own?”
“I’ll be fine. Really. I’ve got the gun. I’m not a good shot yet but I know where the bullet comes out.”
“Okay. Think about teaching and for sure I’ll be back tomorrow morning to bring you to my house for Thanksgiving.”
Sophie nodded. “Do you think your mother will like me?”
“Of course, why wouldn’t she?”
“My mother didn’t make herself very popular in town. People are judging me based on her.”
“My mother’s not like that.”
“Will your father like me?”
“My father will be crazy about you.”
“He’ll come home, Wolf,” Sophie said gi
ving his hand a squeeze.
“Just holding down the fort for him until he does.”
Wolf never heard of anyone who came home again.
Chapter 6
Sophie put on a long skirt, a navy sweater that had flowers embroidered on it and tried to do something cute with her hair. After several attempts, she gave up and to be done with it, pulled it back, tying it with a ribbon.
When Wolf arrived, Sophie was just finishing with a small gift she had made for his mother. It was a pen and ink drawing of a quail, framed with some birch branches she had found in the woods. It was important to her that she make a good impression on his mother, and repair any damage her mother might have done.
He knocked on the door.
“You can just walk in,” she called to him as she tied string around the paper.
Wolf came inside. “What if you were...”
“What?”
He couldn’t come up with the words when she was smiling like that.
“What would I be doing?”
“If you were in the middle of changing clothes, you’d be embarrassed.”
“You’d be embarrassed.”
“It wouldn’t be embarrassment,” he admitted.
“That, Mr. Harndon, is good news.”
“Sophie...” Wolf started.
There was such a long pause, she had to say something to help him keep going. “What?”
He shook his head. “Are you ready to go?”
“Yes.” She picked up the gift. “You’re just thinking about me without any clothes on.”
He opened the door.
“Or are you thinking about us without any clothes on,” Sophie asked brushing against him as she left the house.
“Sophie.”
“It’s not a sin.”
He opened the truck door for her.
“Not for me.” She sat down.
He closed the door and went around to the other side.
“Not for me either but...a defining moment.”
“Sacred.”
“Yes.”
“That’s what I like about you.”
“You like me?”
“I don’t go around just kissing everyone,” Sophie teased.
“After the experience you had at the point of Donnie Russell, I don’t want to make your life more painful. I don’t know what to do.”
“I don’t believe that. I think you know exactly what you want to do.”
“Just because I want to doesn’t mean it’s the right thing.”
“I’m okay because of you. Really. You have to find the balance, Wolf. Living for today because there might not be a tomorrow and...”
“Keep going.”
“They’re evil. What Lucianism has preached from the beginning was life without restrictions. No morality, no ethics, no restraints. If we give that away, they win.”
“Yes.”
“True intimacy is life-affirming.”
“They’re all about life-negating. They have been striping anything good and decent and meaningful until we’re left with nothing.”
“You create meaning. It’s a choice. People who live in two worlds can’t be owned.”
“I’m sorry, I don’t understand.”
“If this world is all there is, life can be made so unpleasant, people will submit. If someone exists in this world but has a sense of the divine, they can’t be completely controlled. Your father may be in prison but he’s a free man. That’s why he’s in prison. That freedom’s a threat.”
“I would like you to do me a favor.”
“Of course.”
“Come to church with me on Sunday.”
“You know I’m Jewish.”
“Are you saying no?”
“If it doesn’t matter to you and the congregation that I’m not a Christian and don’t hold the exact same beliefs, yes, I’ll go with you.”
“It’s important to me.”
“That’s why I said yes.”
Wolf turned off the road and drove down the long driveway to the white house. There was a large barn off to one side and there were two gas wells in the fields.
“It’s the family farm. There’s no one left but my mother and me.”
“Did they take your grandfather, too?”
“No, both of the Harndon grandparents passed. My mother’s parents live down south where life is a little easier in the winter and a little harder in the summer.”
He parked by the house and they both got out of the truck.
“But doesn’t it make more sense for all of the family to live together? You have enough gas to last for a couple centuries.”
“I think it would be better, and it would make my mother happy but they don’t want to leave.”
“Maybe someday.”
“I don’t know how you can talk about the future,” Wolf said as he walked with her to the house.
“We must have a future. You live today but...”
“I don’t look further than tomorrow.” Wolf opened the front door.
“That’s not true. You’re already talking about Sunday.” Sophie smiled.
“Mom, we’re here.”
“I’m in the kitchen.”
“Come,” Wolf said and led her through the house.
It was a comfortable house with some furniture passed down from generations old enough to be antiques. The many windows let in what light there was but the snow was beginning to fall.
The aroma of roasting turkey filled the air and made Sophie remember how long it had been since having meat at a meal was a common occurrence.
“Mom, this is Sophie Cook. Sophie, this is my mother, Nora.”
“Hi, it’s so nice to meet you,” Sophie said and held out the small package. “Thank you for inviting me to dinner. Is there anything I can do to help?”
Nora took the package. “You didn’t need to give me anything.”
“I did. Proper etiquette dictates hostess gifts on such an occasion,” she replied with a wink to him.
“Let me help you with your coat,” Wolf said.
His mother unwrapped the package. “This is lovely,” Nora said as she studied the drawing. “When Wolf showed me the sketch you did of him I knew you were talented but this is breathtaking. Thank you. I know just the place for it at the top of the stairs so we can see it every night.”
Free of her coat, Sophie glanced around the kitchen. “What can I do?”
“You’re a guest. Sit with Wolf in the living room.”
“We’ll sit later.”
“If you insist, I won’t turn down help.”
The door opened and Reilly entered. “Happy Thanksgiving.”
IT WAS DARK BY THE time Wolf brought her home. He took the flashlight out of his truck and they went to her house together. The snow had covered the walkway.
“Don’t slip,” he said. “Do you have boots for the winter?”
“Yes, I’m fine.” Sophie opened the door.
“I wish I could stay but Reilly wants me to go somewhere with him.”
She lit the lantern she had left near the door. “Don’t think twice about me. It’s warm in here and thanks to the power I can listen to a book for a while then go to sleep.”
“You’re sure?”
“Go.”
Wolf leaned over and pressed his lips against hers. For a moment he was tempted to remain but then remembered Reilly was counting on him. It didn’t matter what he wanted personally, the community depended on everyone working together.
He pulled away.
“Thank you for inviting me to dinner.”
Putting his arms around her and holding her tight to him, he kissed her again.
“Each time it gets harder to leave you.”
“What a sweet thing to say.”
“There’s nothing sweet about it,” Wolf replied opening the door.
Sophie laughed. “Go. I’ll see you tomorrow.”
“Bye.”
He walked to his truck. This
was getting to be impossible.
HER HOUSE WAS DARK when he turned the key in the lock, opened the door and stepped inside. “Sophie!”
The sound of his truck coming up the driveway had awakened her and she was already pulling on sweats. Grabbing the flashlight, she ran down the stairs.
“What’s wrong?” Sophie raced to him.
Wolf put his arms around her and buried his face in her neck. She smelled like hyacinths in the spring; it made him weak with relief.
“Wolf. What happened?”
“I took my father’s pistol out of the glove compartment, put the barrel to his head and pulled the trigger.” The words came out flattened.
“Who?”
“Reilly.”
She took his hand. “You killed Reilly?”
“He was my best friend since kindergarten and I shot him.” Wolf paused, trying to remain in control and fearing it would slip away. “I never killed anyone before. I knew it would happen someday but I didn’t think it would be one of us.”
This was a life full of nightmares become real. Sophie took a deep breath. “Come on, let’s go upstairs, we’ll get into bed and you can tell me about it.”
This was what he wanted her to say, expected her to say. This was why he was in her kitchen instead of home. “I have to take a shower. I’ve got him on me.”
He had wiped his hands off in the snow as best as he could but that wasn’t enough.
“There are towels in the cabinet and I’ll turn on the generator. The water should still be pretty warm.”
“Doesn’t matter.”
“Go up the stairs and turn right. When you’re done, give me a shout.”
“Yeah.” Wolf replied as Sophie went to turn on the generator so the water would pump.
A couple minute later, she heard the water stop running.
“Done,” he called.
Sophie turned off the generator, locked the front door and took the flashlight with her up the stairs.
He was standing in the hall with a towel wrapped around him.
“You have nothing to wear.”
“No.”
Sophie pushed her sweats down and stepped out of them. “Every I have is large. It’ll be tight on you but it’s better than nothing.” She held then out to him.
He could feel her warmth on the fabric.